Carlton mid – the review

Australia is a weird country when it comes to its beer, they often claim quite proudly to be a country of beer lovers (trust me that’s not unusual, if an Australian can brag about something i assure you they will). everywhere i go in this country and everyone i meet tries to tell me about the the virtues of Australian beer and how much they love it. so you can imagine my shock when i come to this country and discover their all a bunch of lightweights, pardon my vernacular there, although i left Liverpool i fear Liverpool may never leave me. so to put this into words that my international audience can understand (I like saying that, it’s also true), the Australian people cant handle alcohol and as a result there most popular beers are these watered down monstrosities with such low alcohol content it takes a boat load to get tipsy, but i digress, i’ll do a more detailed write up on this interesting contradiction but for now we will be reviewing one of Australia’s most popular beers. i taste the bad beers so you don’t have too.
vital statistics:
  • lager
  • brewed in Australia
  • 3.5%
look:
the beer was Golden brown in in colour with ever so slight carbonation that lead to the slightest of head. It’s nice to see a beer with a head again and it did last a long time, thats how bad things have become, i’m happy when i see an Australian beer with head.
6/10
Aroma:
i speak often about the Australia curse and i’m going to put it into words, to understand what this beer smells like simply get a glass of water an give it a huge sniff, smell that yeah that’s most Australian beers. nothing there
1/10
Taste
American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat. It’s fucking close to water! -Eric Idle
that quote pretty much sums up this beer, i could drink water and get the same flavor profile.
1/10
Value
i’m going to be very harsh on this beer but i see no reason why you would ever buy this beer, maybe if you were dying of thirst and this was your only option, maybe then but under no other circumstances.
1/10
the session:
well we took that whole new year new you thing to heart this year and decided to add a new section to our review, this is the session and its where we see how good a beer is for those all day drinkathons. this beer may actually redeem its self thanks to its low alcohol and well hidden flavour, i found i was able to comfortably drink it all day long without too much trouble, i even found myself enjoying it after several hours, that may have been the BBQ and great weather though.
6/10
so in case you couldn’t tell i don’t think you should buy this beer in any form, it looked somewhat like a beer but that was it. there was no smell, even less taste and a value that stunk because i found zero enjoyment out of this beer, this complete lack of flavor though helped it be a nice all day beer but sadly i would rather have a stronger beer and drink less if the opportunity arose in the future.
30/100

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